Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.
H. L. Mencken
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.
Michel de Montaigne
A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
By our Heavenly Father and only because of God, only because of God. We're like other couples. We do not get along perfectly; we do not go without arguments and, as I call them, fights, and heartache and pain and hurting each other. But a marriage is three of us.
An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Love is often the fruit of marriage.
All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.
Sydney J. Harris
Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could.
Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.
Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.
Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love.
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.
It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.
I think women are natural caretakers. They take care of everybody. They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs, and don't spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out.
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring.
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.
Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
H. L. Mencken
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.
If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.
The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
A. P. Herbert
Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
P. J. O'Rourke
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage".
Faithful women are all alike, they think only of their fidelity, never of their husbands.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife.
- Father's Day
- Memorial Day
- Mother's Day